Dealing with Death and Caring for your Children by Susan Leigh

In the UK alone twenty-two people die every day leaving their children to be raised by either one or no parents. Multiply this by the number of days in the year and it reveals a very large number of children and young people who are left in a bereaved situation. How do we protect our children, help them to cope if they are ever unfortunate enough to find themselves in this situation? - On a practical level it's important that they are protected financially and emotionally as much as possible. Ensure that you have an up-to-date will with financial provision made for your children. Discuss what you want to happen to your children in the event of your death. It may be a tough, difficult and unpleasant conversation but it's important that you've discussed and noted where they will live and with whom in case one or both parents were to die, say in an accident. - Children need to learn about the different experiences they will meet throughout their lives and death is no exception. With allowances for their age, allow them to be involved in the death of a pet. Children can find preparing their dead goldfish or hamster for burial surprisingly therapeutic; encourage them to find a suitable box for the coffin, select a burial site in the garden, maybe find a poem or a few words to say, even visit the grave afterwards. It can be a comforting experience for a child. - Elderly relatives dying can be an important part of a child's education. Learning that old people die is often accepted quite readily by children. Death can seem a distant, abstract concept to them, especially in regard to older people. They do however, sometimes find it hard to accept that they will then never see the loved grandparent again. They may understand that 'they've gone to heaven' but then expect them to come and visit in time for tea. Being patient and providing reassurance that their grandparent is fine, happy, okay but no longer around can often help children to eventually settle. - It's important to agree as a family how much you tell your children when someone close has died. This information needs to be consistent, especially in the sad event of one of their young school friend's dying. Religion and faith may be a part of what you choose to say, but it's also important to provide some space for your children to grieve and come to terms with their loss in their own way. - Children are incredibly sensitive to atmosphere and will often keep quiet and not talk about their feelings or reveal the depth of their loss and distress if they're afraid of adding to their grieving parent(s) anguish. Allow the opportunity for children to talk about the deceased friend, parent or relative, perhaps have photographs on display, comforting rituals on certain important days. Encourage reminiscences, memories and conversations about the deceased person as a natural part of your daily conversation if so desired. - It may be that Sunday has become a difficult part of the week because mother is no longer there to cook the weekly family roast. As a consequence, Sunday can become a day that everyone dreads. It may be that some family members hermit away in their rooms and eat a sandwich, but is that really the best way to recover from her death? Why not introduce new routines where perhaps everyone joins in to make the Sunday meal together and learns to laugh at the first disastrous attempts? - Start a family discussion and lead by telling the children what you consider to be the best way for you all to move on. Explain that it's okay to be upset at times but that you're all in this together, there for each other and that everyone is allowed to express how they feel. Some children don't want to talk at all about painful subjects. Instead, they may find it therapeutic to keep a private journal or draw pictures about their family, documenting their feelings, the things that are on their mind. If they're able to join a group with children who are in the same situation as themselves that can be particularly supportive and healing. - A pet can be an especially comforting solution for a distressed, grieving child. Having a young animal companion to look after, care for, talk to, confide in, maybe sleep with often helps bring a child out of their grieving state and come to terms with what's happened. Other children may find comfort from talking with a trusted family friend, neighbour, close relative or even a counsellor. Finding an outlet that brings comfort is an important part of the healing process. - Be sure to reassure children about the family situation after the death of a parent. Some children worry dreadfully about money and question if there is enough to pay the bills, worry about the remaining parent and whether they are alright, worry about going to school and leaving their parent at home. Try to demonstrate that you are well, coping, missing the person who's gone but are picking up the pieces as well as you can. Follow Susan Leigh on Twitter: www.twitter.com/susanleigh1 MORE: Children Parents Family Feelings Death Die

How you Talk to Babies Can Affect their Memories by Elise Sole

You may feel silly speaking to your baby in a high-pitched, squeaky voice while reading to him or playing games. But a new study conducted by Brigham Young University found that babies are much more likely to remember experiences if there is a positive emotion or affect attached to them. Researchers rounded up a group of 5-month-old infants and exposed them to either positive, negative, or neutral-sounding voices while showing them geometric shapes. They repeated the exercise over several days, showing them the same shapes, along with new ones. Results showed that babies best remembered a shape when it was associated with a happy voice or face.

“Cheerful, upbeat, positive voices promote learning, language, and memory,” Ross Flom, PhD, a professor of psychology, tells Yahoo Parenting, “The idea, positivity heightens attention span and when babies are attentive, they’re better able to process information and form memories.” The trick is to use baby talk at specific times. “If a baby is fussy, it’s better to soothe him,” says Flom. “Wait until he’s in a better mood before using a high-pitched voice and let his cues guide you.” Science has long proved how remarkably early memory forms in babies. Finnish researchers recently found that as a fetus is developing, particularly in the third trimester, it can hear sounds from the world and even retain them after birth. “If you put your hand over your mouth and speak, that’s very similar to the situation the fetus is in,” cognitive neuroscientist Eino Partanen of the University of Helsinki, told Science magazine. “You can hear the rhythm of speech, rhythm of music, and so on.” In fact, one behavioral study conducted in 1988 found that newborns could recognize the theme song from their mother’s favorite soap opera (seriously).

That said, don’t bother trying to “teach” your unborn baby how to say “Mama,” for example. According to Partanen, there’s no evidence that anything other than the sounds of daily life are beneficial. Ditto for placing earbuds playing classical music on a mother’s pregnant stomach — doing so can disrupt a baby’s sleep cycle. Still, it’s inevitable that babies will encounter negativity from time to time. So if you find yourself having an argument with your husband or are playing an action movie too loudly where the baby is playing, he or she won’t suffer any longterm consequences. “You won’t scar the baby,” says Flom. https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/how-you-talk-to-babies-can-affect-their-memories-103568587132.html

How to get your child to talk about their day by Melissa Walker

On the first day of preschool this year, I excitedly picked up my daughter, eager to hear all about her adventures that day. We went to a smoothie place and sat down at a table. “So…” I said, “How was your day?” No response. “What did you do at school?” Eyes on straw. “Do you like your teacher?” Nada. Through trial and error, I’ve learned that the one question that gets my 3-year-old to open up is, “What made you laugh today?” But it took a week or two of getting zero information to stumble upon success. Yahoo Parenting spoke to Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author of the forthcoming book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do,” as well as a few parents, for ideas on how to get your kid to share his or her day.

Preschool “In the preschool years, it’s helpful to have enough information that you can ask specific questions,” Morin tells Yahoo Parenting. “Young children often forget what they did during the day or have trouble identifying what to talk about.” She suggests talking to the teacher at pick-up about what activities the class did that day. Then you can give a prompt such as, “Tell me what you learned about whales today.” And ask follow-up questions: “What did you think when you read that story?” According to Morin, you’ll help guide the narrative while jogging your kid’s memory. Parent Tips “Play the ‘Who did something…’ game. ‘Who did something funny/smart/naughty/interesting today?’ That always elicits more than the run-of-the-mill shrugs.” — Kate Messner “I ask about details like, ‘Did this person come to school today? Was he wearing that green sweater he likes?’ Or something random and silly like, ‘Did you tell your teacher about the big dinosaur we saw?’ It gets them thinking about specifics and makes me more informed and engaged.” — Georgia McBride

Elementary School A short attention span for conversation is an issue for many elementary school kids, so Morin suggests distracting them with an activity, such as an an art project or playing catch, while you chat. “That helps them feel less on the spot, and they’re more willing to talk when their hands are busy,” says Morin. If you’re looking for insight into their social lives, questions like, “What did you do at recess today?” or “Who did you eat lunch with?” work because they beg specific, clear answers about a child’s friendships. Morin also suggests that academic updates be gathered with questions like, “What’s the hardest thing you did in class today?” coupled with, “What’s was the easiest part of school today?” That way, you’ll acknowledge their interests and strengths as well. Parent Tips “I always try to answer in detail when I’m asked about my day to model that for them. Some kids are talkers and some aren’t, so for mine it also helps to start the conversation with the siblings together — the competitive juices sometimes spur the non-talker to spill.” — Jennifer Klon “My husband, my six-year-old and I all take turns during dinner sharing three things about our day. Having everyone participate really helps — our daughter keeps track and actually calls us out if we don’t share three.” — Nanette Marcus

Middle School “Avoid too many targeted questions,” advises Morin. In the pre-teen years, those can feel more like digging or prying than conversation. “General questions like, ‘What was the best part about your day?’ can give a kid an opportunity to share without feeling like he or she is being interrogated.” Also key at this age: Spending quality time together and allowing the space and circumstance for your child to talk. “Often, they’re willing to talk about bigger issues — like friend drama — when you’re participating in an activity together,” Morin notes. “Providing positive feedback and ensuring that your child feels heard when she shares information is essential to encouraging more conversation.” Parent Tips “I ask if anything weird happened. The word ‘weird’ gets my sixth-grader thinking. And some days, nothing weird happens and the day is just ‘fine.’ That’s the truth and I respect that.” — Suzanne Weber “We play the ‘Rose and the Thorn,’ meaning what’s the best thing that happened today and what’s the worst thing that happened today? It’s a routine, which makes it easier, and often it turns into, ‘Well, I have two roses, or one thorn that turned into a rose.’ It’s non-threatening language that gives them a chance to open up, vent, reflect or commiserate.” — Inha Yang

High School At these older ages, parents can ask big-picture questions. Instead of “Do you ever get bullied?” try “Is bullying a big problem at school?” “Teens are often more willing to discuss general issues first to test your reaction,” says Morin. “If you show support for bully victims, your child may then be more willing to share a personal experience.” The media is also a great tool. “Strike up a conversation about alcohol or dating when you see a movie or news story that deals with the subject,” suggests Morin. That can give you insight into your teen’s world and allow an opportunity to share your values without getting personal about her life. “With high school kids, it’s less important to get a daily play-by-play,” says Morin. “Your teen should have some privacy and the freedom to discuss things with friends rather than parents.” But it’s important to stay in touch with bigger life issues regarding how your child is doing overall and what his future plans are. Parents are still a guiding force for teenagers. Parent Tip “I ask questions about light subjects to get my 14-year-old son talking. Like I’ll ask about who he sat with on the bus, what they talked about… that moves into what else he heard on the bus, whether someone got teased. The conversation grows naturally if there’s something to share.” — Merri Meyer And this teen tip “Non-judgment is key. That I can go to my mom with anything means that I tell her most things. It also helps that my mom talks to me about her day and her life. If she’s comfortable, I can be too.” — Amber K. https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/how-to-get-your-kid-to-talk-about-their-day-102962683842.html

Choosing a Pet? by Bill Beavers

First, lets think about why we are thinking about choosing a pet. Is it because the children have been pestering you forever to get a new puppy or kitten? This is something most know but I feel I have to say it again just for the few that have not had the experience. Your children begging you to choose a pet is not, in itself, a good reason for getting one. Children need to be old enough and mature enough to care for the pet puppy as an example. Consider whether you have time for a pet. They look to you for their food, water, veterinary treatments and love. If your children cannot or will not care for the pet, do you have time to do it. Did you know that in over half of households the female spouse or family member ends up taking care of the family dog or pet. Now this is pretty much common sense but you should think about whether you are allowed to have a pet where you currently reside. Check the regulations if your are a tenant. If pets are allowed are you prepared for the extra amount of deposit money that will be required. Are you prepared for the carpet cleaning necessary when you move? These an other questions should be considered if you are a renter.

How many years are you willing to commit to this new pet? A pet can be a lifelong commitment depending on how old you are when you choose a puppy or other young pet. Personally I had a Dachshund that was with us for 17 years. Cats can live from 10 to 20 years subject to certain medical issues. Other pets like horses, turtles, parrots and other types of birds can live quite a bit longer even 30 to 40 years. None of us have a crystal ball so we do not really know when we will get married, get divorced, relocate sometimes to another country, have children or maybe have grandma move in with us, you know, the one that hates animals. Do your best to look into the future to where a pet will fit in. Once adopted your pet becomes part of the family or to him, the pack. Later separation is hard on everyone. If you should decide to choose a puppy or any type of young pet please know that younger animals require a lot more time to learn the ropes than adult dogs do. Plus, younger animals, especially dogs, do not appreciate being left alone. This is one way separation anxiety develops.

Younger animals need to be taught how to behave in the family or the pack. This cannot completely be done if the house is empty all day. Just as with children, traits developed at the younger ages are traits that stay with them most if not all of their lives. Proper training and interaction at the younger age will pay great dividends immediately and in later years. Believe it or not there are many more considerations when choosing a pet. Those I will touch on in a different article. For now let me leave you by strongly suggesting that you make the decision about choosing a new pet a family decision. Bill Beavers is with http://www.CarryMyDog.com and looks forward to your visit to this informative website. We know you will benefit from the information you will find there. You will find top quality dog crates, pet carriers, pet strollers, dog harnesses, pet playpens and much more. Deep discounts on many products. http://www.carrymydog.com is a valid starting place for improving your pet's quality of life and simplifying yours. All the best... Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bill_Beavers Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3364699

Six Points to Consider when Choosing a Pet for your Child by Hilary Daglish

"Can I have a pet for my birthday, Mum?" says Amelia "Not yet, you're too young" replied Mum This was a common question for several years until one day Mum thought that Amelia is ten now and might be ready for the responsibility of owning and looking after a pet. So what is the best pet for Amelia? How can Mum help her make this important choice? Here are six points to consider when choosing a pet for your child eg Amelia 1. Ask " What kind of pet do you like?" It may be a duck to a dinosaur. You need to set limits as to what pets you are prepared to have, what pets you are able to have eg if you live in an apartment then no Great Danes are allowed and what pets are safe for you to have. Write down the choices.

2.Level of Commitment: Think about what level of commitment Amelia has shown in past projects, like a sport or a hobby. - was she keen at first and then slack off? - did she wear her skates once and leave them lying around? - does her floor look like a jungle? - what is her staying power at things like? You have more pet choices if she is a dedicated person. And her interest should be long enough to see the pet into middle age.

3. What is the 'ick' factor? Is Amelia squeamish at the thought of little gerbil goodies left in the palm of the hand, pet vomit or fussy at the thought of feeding the animal that she mistakenly chose? If so then the pet needs to be a cleaner variety and less hands on - nice tropical fish are great for finicky children. 4. Activity Level: Is Amelia active or more laid back? This is something to consider because trying to get your inactive child to walk a dog is very stressful or giving tropical fish to an energetic person is totally pointless when they could be running a more active pet. 5. Temperament: The saying that 'opposites attract" could be beneficial. If Amelia was shy then a bouncy Boxer may help to break her out of her shell. or if Amelia can't stay still then a gentle pug might calm her down.

6. Responsibility: Who is responsible for this pet? Make sure everyone in the family is aware of this. Even though Amelia asked for a pet she is not totally responsible - it becomes at least partial responsibility of other family members who may, for example, feed the cat or walk the dog from time to time. It is important to make sure Amelia understands the rules and obligations that will be expected of her before bringing a pet home. You can make it clearer with pictures for younger children but Amelia is old enough to get clear worded directions. You can give out rewards and punishments for meeting obligations or not, e.g. if she does not feed the cat then she will loose television watching time.If Amelia is taught responsibility now then she'll turn out to be a responsible adult. Sometimes Amelia may forget certain things in cat care or is sick, have extra school work or extra curricular activities and so it may be time for you or another family member to step in. If you are not prepared to do this then you may need to reconsider getting a pet at this time. The idea about choosing a pet for your child, in this case Amelia, is to give them (or Amelia) the options according to what you want, what you can have with considerations of responsibility and their (or her) personality. Then let them (or her) have their (or her) say at what they (or she) wants. Hopefully a suitable choice can be made which can not only give the family a pet but your child or children (or Amelia) a friend forever.

The Final Outcome of Choosing a Pet for Your Child Let's take the example of Amelia. Amelia is a bright and bubbly girl who loves being active with sport like netball and swimming plus enjoying quiet times with reading and drawing. She also likes socialising with her friends. Her room can get a little messy but it's because she gets carried away with her interests.She doesn't mind the thought of cleaning up animal messes and decided she would like to have a young pet like a puppy or kitten to grow up with. Her parents thought that she would show responsibility towards caring for a puppy or kitten as well as having the right personality. There limiting factor was a small house and back yard. So they all decided that a kitten would be a great pet for Amelia. So what next in the process of choosing a pet for your child. 1. Finding A Pet For you child. In this case a kitten for Amelia 2. Training Your Pet In this case training a Amelia's kitten. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Hilary_Daglish

Carry-On Travel Bags - How to pack when you are travelling with children by Bill Hamilton

You're trying to check things off your to-do list before that big trip you're taking in the morning and you seem to be doing okay until it comes time to think about what to put into your carry-on travel bag when you're travelling with children. Whether you're a mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, guardian, friend, relative, or a nanny who'll be travelling with one or more children, you know in a heartbeat that you'd better have what the child needs already packed into your bag, just in case they need it. It can certainly be frustrating when that child asks you for something and you don't have it available. I'm not talking about the child being spoiled and not getting what he wants. I'm talking about thinking in advance what you'll need to pack before the trip to make your travel time go smoother and easier.

When you're travelling by car, it's not quite as demanding as traveling by bus, rail, or by plane. Sure, anyone can find a spare hanky or napkin to hand you in case there's an accidental spill, but what about all those other unforeseen things that require even your most basic necessities? While the following list most certainly isn't an exhaustible list of everything you could possibly need for a child while you're traveling, perhaps this list will serve as your own starting point for creating a "What to Pack" list for your situation.

1. Pack nappies for infants and those toddlers who are prone to have emotional accidents due to new or scary situations. For infants, it's best to pack one nappy for every hour that you'll be in the air or travelling to and from the airport. 2. Pre-moistened, individually wrapped antiseptic paper wipes. These are useful when changing a child's nappy as well as cleaning up messy hands, faces, and minor spills. 3. Bring travel sickness tablets, baby aspirin and other medications that the child may require, even if the child isn't sick. The travel sickness tablets will help with motion sickness, and it comes in handy to calm an impatient and nervous child. 4. Be sure to pack a small activity, cuddly soft sleepy toy, a book, or other item to distract or occupy the child. It will save your nerves and those around you when the child can be briefly entertained.

5. Always pack a thin blanket. It comes in useful for many things such as rolling it up like a pillow, covering a sleeping child, and it comes in handy for keeping you and the child warm. This is especially an essential during air travel since the cabin can become quite cool, and not every airlines these days offers blankets to their passengers-especially if your destination is in a arm location like Mexico or Hawaii. 6. Snacks, snacks, and more snacks. You can never have too many snacks, especially when traveling. If you're travelling by air, the pressure in a child's ears is eased while swallowing liquids or eating solids like crackers, dried fruit, cereal, or finger sandwiches. You can easily put snacks into small zipped-up snack bags. Carrying small amounts of foods in separate packages is preferable to bringing a large bag of pretzels or cheese fishes. 7. Bring bottled water, straws, covered sippy cups and other liquids. These are good to give during take-off and landing, but if you're traveling on land or by rail, it can be the difference between a cranky child and a happy child. 8. Pack a change of clothes for both you and the child. You might think you won't have an accident that would drench your clothes, but for sure if you bring the extra clothes you won't have to stress about any situation that can arise.

Travelling with children can be fun and challenging. To make your next trip more pleasurable, know what to pack and how to pack it in a Clava Leather bag - http://www.clava.com - a worldwide leader in fine leather products. Don't leave home without checking your travel list for what to pack. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bill_Hamilton Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3553610

Travel with children -"Are we there yet?" by Sam Serio

Travelling with children can be a nightmare. Any parent that has had to put up with a child on a long journey will testify to that point! Travel with children is extremely stressful and can indeed test you to the end of your patience. Not only that, there is no way to get away from the child if he or she does start acting spoilt. While spending time with family is extremely important, so is enjoying the experience so you have to have a plan of action prepared well in advance in order to make sure that you can have a relaxing time away from the stresses and strains of modern life!

Before you even set off, you should plan out how you are going to travel with your children. You should always pick a child-friendly destination to travel to if you are taking the whole family with you. Travelling with children to a remote destination that is tailored for adults is not a great idea because they will be constantly complaining that they are bored and thus will ruin your vacation as well. Look for a beach resort with a hotel that offers free activities for children. This will certainly save you money because the beach and free activities will keep the children amused for hours!

You should also think about the food available at the destination. Children are generally fussy eaters and travelling with children can highlight that fact, but if individual resorts offer buffets then this is likely to cater for all tastes! It is always best to choose a hotel offering breakfast only if you are travelling with children. This way, if they do not like the food at the hotel then you have lost absolutely nothing and can find a restaurant elsewhere that they do like! Travelling with children is perhaps the most difficult during the journey, but there are a few tips that can help ease the stress for you. For example, get to the airport early because they can amuse themselves with watching the aeroplanes and it saves the last minute rush than can really see your stress levels rise! Also, if you can get flights during the night then this will also help you to relax because the children will sleep during that time! Always pack a box full of treats when travelling with children too because this will help to keep them quiet throughout the trip! Include snacks like raisins, juices, cereal, rice cakes and fruit, along with some candy for the purpose of bribery if need be! Also, pack a few of their favourite toys and games to keep them amused if they do happen to wake up at any time! If they have comfort toys then be sure to pack those as well because travelling with children can be a nightmare if they do not have them!

When you do get to your destination, the nightmare of children can be far from over if you do not take the necessary precautions to ensure that all runs smoothly. Make sure that you have something different planned for every day to ensure that they do not get bored as a result of repetition. This can be extremely difficult in a resort that caters solely for older children and/or adults. A little research ahead of time can always help, but insist that you all spend the first day exploring so that the children are able to find things that they want to do on their own because this will keep them quiet and give you ammunition should they moan later on! Travelling with children can be a nightmare, but travelling with children can also be an absolute joy. Just make sure that you have done your homework and know ahead of time what to expect and you will find that your vacation falls into the latter category rather than the former! * * * * * * * * * * Sam Serio is the producer of Special Events like the Chincoteague Daffodil Festival and the Chincoteague Blueberry Festival on the beautiful Chincoteague Island, Virginia. To learn about this one-of-a-kind family vacation destination please visit http://www.chincoteagueislandvacations.com and http://www.chincoteagueoutlook.com for an informative tour of Chincoteague Island through videos, entertaining articles and fascinating interviews with local personalities. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sam_Serio Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2438398