Why Living in a Smaller Home can help you raise a Happy Kid by Brett Graff

In her new book, Not Buying It: Stop Overspending and Start Raising Happier, Healthier, More Successful Kids, Brett Graff, a former economist and now a nationally known personal finance and parenting expert, breaks down the myths around money and child-rearing. In this adapted excerpt, she explains why buying a big house isn't necessary—and how having a smaller home can actually benefit kids in the long run. Just after announcing their pregnancy, my friends Larry and Gayle bought their dream McMansion in a suburb of Cleveland. The home brought the great promise of happiness an American family can achieve only by acquiring an oversize kitchen, a sprawling master bath, and 15-foot ceilings. Larry happily embarked on his new two-hour commute to work, shrugging his shoulders and saying, “Oh, it’s not bad,” before reminding us about all the reading one can accomplish on a train ride.

That’s hardly debatable—we all want more reading time. But what might be worth examining are the motives behind American families’ lust for larger homes. Homes are the single most expensive aspect of raising kids, according to a 2014 government report. And newly constructed houses have, on average, increased in size by 53 percent since 1973, according to the Census Bureau. The ratio of houses with three or more stories has doubled. Kids thrive in smaller houses, which foster family communication and cultivate bonding between siblings. New homes are designed with features that provide for more space and greater privacy. While these features most certainly come in handy when we’re touring our friends around, experts wonder: Where did we get the idea that sprawling living rooms and child-centric wings are essential for successfully raising kids?

Why You Don't Need a Big Home to Raise a Successful, Happy Kid Big houses are not necessarily bad for families. But we seem to have collectively decided that when it comes to living quarters, bigger is better in every circumstance. That each of us needs space and privacy. That all our friends have a big house, so we should get one, too. These houses—we may have come to believe—are tangible measures of our happiness and success. And that’s 100 percent false.

Kids thrive in smaller houses, which by design can help them dodge some invisible struggles that later plague adolescents and teens. For starters, these homes create more convenient backdrops for family communication and cultivate bonding between siblings. Plus, sometimes smaller homes are closer to a city and tend to cut down parents’ commute times.

And who was it that decided that each of our kids should have their own bedroom? There’s no research stating that children, particularly young ones, thrive more fully when they can close the door and be alone. On the contrary, room-sharing has a litany of psychological benefits, starting with the sense of emotional protection at bedtime. Because the frontal lobe of a child’s brain is still developing between the ages of 2 and 5, kids cannot separate imaginary life from real life, says Dr. Gwen Wurm, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician in Miami who wrote the foreword to my book. This accounts for kids truly believing there are monsters in the closet. And having a sibling in the room offers a security they might not be able to express or even realize. That presence can combat resistance to bedtime and can foster peaceful sleeping, says Dr. Wurm.

Smaller houses encourage the kind of unscripted moments during which real teaching and genuine communication occurs. That doesn’t mean peace will remain through all waking hours. Small disagreements and full-scale wars, complete with the hurling of toy-car missiles, are a certainty among all siblings, including those who share a room. But even that clashing can set the stage for the kind of sibling connection that lasts a lifetime. Room-sharing provides so many ways for sisters or brothers or even combinations—though there are benefits to separating those kids before puberty—to work together as a team and learn to negotiate. A bunkmate also provides kids with a built-in confidante. And a strong sibling bond has lifelong benefits.

A smaller home also probably means the TV can be heard from around the house. The rewards come when we’re able to effortlessly monitor what our kids are watching. We can scream, “Change the channel,” or simply step in and magically appear for a teachable moment, educating our kids on being careful consumers during commercials. While fast-food chains and toy makers are trying to hold them captive, we can explain that people on television may seem beautiful and happy stuffing fries in their mouths, but they are acting.

It’s simple: The more opportunities a family has to communicate, the more a family will communicate. Smaller houses encourage the kind of unscripted moments during which real teaching and genuine communication occurs, says Dr. Wurm. The best discussions aren’t planned, she says, but are sparked from passing each other in hallways or from sitting around a kitchen island. Smaller homes give kids and adults easy access to one another, making the spontaneous expression of a thought or daily event practically effortless.

And if the size of your house means kids are sick of seeing you all the time, good; tell them to go outside. Rather than lounging around on leather sofas, Dr. Wurm wants to see our kids spend time outdoors, particularly in green or wooded areas. This enhances their physical and mental well-being. Sunlight and trees are natural mood elevators, and exercise improves a kid’s ability to learn and concentrate. Studies from the University of Illinois point out that kids score better on tests after exercise, and separate research proves children with ADHD display higher levels of focus after coming in from outside.

Overall, all this is not to say that people in big houses won’t be home in time for dinner or will somehow neglect to communicate with their unsuccessful kids. Besides, how could we even define the words "big houses," seeing as it would have a far different definition for a family in New York City than it would for a Texan? Rather, the idea is to introduce some alternative considerations when contemplating the homes we choose and evaluating their locations and sizes. Or even during those unfortunate times when we compare our lives to other people’s lives.

It’s true, many families—hopefully most—with colossal kitchens will do a great job of organizing sibling-bonding opportunities. But considering the true developmental needs of our kids, those families without so much space will not be doing even one bit worse. Adapted excerpt from Not Buying It: Stop Overspending and Start Raising Happier, Healthier, More Successful Kids by Brett Graff. Available from Seal Press, a member of The Perseus Books Group. Copyright © 2016. http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-24064/why-living-in-a-smaller-home-can-help-you-raise-a-happy-kid.html

Choose the right bag for school by Deerah van Heerden

Buying the wrong bag, or even buying the right bag but wearing it badly can cause unnecessary and harmful stress to your child's spine, leading to muscle strain and rounding shoulders. Keeping in mind that acute back ache can lead to chronic issues which become life-long battles, especially with young people as their bodies are still growing. Below we address some points which may contribute to the health of your child's back and posture, directly relating to the way in which they carry their bags.

Buy a Backpack A backpack that sits neatly across both shoulders with the straps adjusted to the same length is far more beneficial than a bag that would sling over one shoulder. There should always be an equal weight displacement across the back. You can usually see the strain in a person's posture if one should is working harder than the other. A person should be able to walk upright and straight forward without leaning or compensating one way or the other. A backpack is also usually built around a structure with padding and reinforcement. These supports are designed to sit in a particular position on the back to alleviate undue stresses and place weight correctly.

Don't overfill a bag An overloaded bag is very heavy, rather be organized enough to know what days certain items are required, and not carrying unnecessary items. The correct amount of weight that can be carried is usually 10% of your body weight, so a 40 kg child should not carry an excess of 4 kg on their backs. It may be extra work, but packing and repacking each day will greatly assist in cutting back on weight, especially with unnecessary debris build up at the bottom adding sneaky bits of weight.

Pack Correctly Adding on to the previous point of unpacking and repacking each day, removing unnecessary items and packing the correct items in the correct places is important for weight displacement, because if things shift during transit it could compromise the center of gravity. A bag should sit above the waist and not hang too low either, again placing the correct weight at the correct point. Once you have invested in the correct bag and stationary that fits accordingly, make sure you look after it and it may last your child longer than the school year. Label your children's items as this also encourages enthusiasm and helps them to hold onto their things for longer. For great personalized labels, visit labels4school For great back to school labels, without the hassle of queues and driving, order your personalized labels online and have them conveniently delivered. Visit Labels4School at: http://www.labels4school.co.za/ Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Deerah_Van_Heerden Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8833289

Four Healthy Habits for children's Screentime by Rebecca Dodds

If you can barely tear your child away from their tablet, here’s what you need to know about healthy screen time for kids Playing with a tablet, mobile phone or desktop computer can be beneficial for children’s learning and development (not to mention affording parents a break while the kids are occupied), but when is it too much? It can be hard for parents to tell. Here are some guidelines to help you and your children get the most out of screen time.

1. Work out how much screen time is right for your child “Screen time becomes worrying when it impinges on time that children would spend on other play activities that are important for development,” says Lucy Gill, director of apps and technology at Fundamentally Children. “Active, social and imaginative play are vital and it’s hard to get too much of these,” she explains. “Passive screen time, such as television, and more interactive, solitary screen time (playing with tablet games and apps) are fine and even potentially useful in small doses, but these should not encroach on active, social or imaginative play.” Lucy describes what Fundamentally Children calls a ‘balanced play diet’, which, like your child’s food diet, should contain a healthy balance of the different kinds of play. So, when should parents be concerned that their child’s play diet is out of balance? “If a child is spending plenty of time playing actively indoors or outdoors, interacting socially with parents, other adults and children, as well as in imaginative or creative play, then some screen time should not be a concern,” she says. “If children are becoming increasingly reluctant to do anything else and you’re struggling to interest them in playing outside or interacting socially, then decreasing their screen time would be a good step.” A more specific guideline for appropriate length of screen time could be based on your child’s age: “A rule of thumb is that children can, on average, concentrate for about five minutes per years of their life, so at three years old they can concentrate for about 15 minutes,” Lucy explains. “This concentration span is a good basis for the maximum length of a screen time session, as beyond it a child’s usage will become more passive and less developmentally useful.”

2. Make sure your child is getting the most out of their screen time Screen time does not have to be a passive, mindless activity. Children of all ages can benefit from developmental apps and games (sometimes without even realising they are learning!), so it’s important to choose the right content for your child. “We’ve seen children enjoy playing games that have learning or developmental benefits,” says Lucy. “Some are obviously educational yet still fun, and with others the children don’t even notice they are learning – they just see it as a great game. Clearly this is a win for everyone.” Lucy recommends doing some research and finding apps and games that are recommended for your child’s age group and which focus on developing skills that your child is interested in or which you are eager to encourage. 3. Enjoy screen time together “We strongly encourage parents to play apps alongside their children,” says Lucy. “We know parents are often grateful that screen time occupies their children while they get on with other things (as a mother myself, I know this!), but occasionally being with your child while they play allows the child to benefit even more from that time.” Some games suggest ways in which parents can encourage children to play which benefit them within the game or offline, and it’s good to take advantage of these opportunities to gain further benefits. “For example, if a child is playing a screen-based, dress-up or role playing game, encourage them to think more about the characters and roles they are taking on,” suggests Lucy. “At the end of screen time, help them to act out what they’ve seen on screen or engage in some other form of play inspired by whatever captured their interest. This is also a great way to transition away from the screen without a tantrum!”

4. Set consistent limits on screen time If your child is resistant when you say their screen time is over (and most are), it may take some time to establish your house rules regarding tablet or computer usage. “Children of all ages need to have their expectations clearly set,” Lucy advises. “Just as an adult would object if someone came in, with no warning, and swiped their mobile halfway through a text message or turned off the TV during their favourite show, so children will not respond well to screen time being ended unexpectedly.” Setting a time limit, making your child aware of it, warning them when they’re about to reach it and sticking to it consistently is what will help you succeed painlessly here. “There can, of course, be some leeway,” says Lucy, “such as allowing them to play to the end of the level or some other natural end point, but don’t let that turn into several more minutes of play.”

She also suggests using an alarm or the parental control limit feature available on some tablets (“Some children respond better to anyone but their parent heralding the end of play!”) and establishing clear consequences if they do not willingly end screen time. “You might be amazed at how quickly they will hand over the tablet if they know the alternative is that they don’t get to play again for a few days.” Lucy also stresses that it’s important to limit your own screen time around your kids: “Children really don’t respond well to hypocritical behaviour. Make time for your child when they finish their screen time – put away your own screens and agree on an activity to do afterwards in advance.” She also points out: “Making the transition more about what they do next than just putting the screen away will make it much easier.” Try to limit screen time close to your child’s bedtime, too – the blue light from tablet and mobile phone screens is known to interfere with sleep. Visit the Good App Guide on Fundamentally Children to find apps suitable for your child. And check out our collection of free phonics reading and spelling games here. Words: Rebecca Dodd