30 things to say to teach kids about growth mindset by Lord Yeung on Lifehack

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10 Character Flaws That can Derail People by Dr Tom Brunner

Good people can become great, but usually they don’t. Part of the problem is good people are often unaware of how close they are to becoming great. What do I mean? The termination of only a few traits/habits/preferences is often enough to move someone much closer to “greatness”. This can mean greatness overall or in terms of some specific sport or skill. Want proof? Think about three friends or colleagues you know very well, and with each person imagine they no longer exhibited three traits that you know people around them commonly agree are their most annoying personality “thorns”. Then, imagine those three people no longer had their three “personality thorns”. How much closer would those three be to being great instead of just being good or average? I am betting a LOT closer. * * * * * Sports psychologists often help athletes change only 1 or 2 thought or behavior patterns, and that brings greatness. Chew on this: A very small percentage of a person’s psychological makeup (say, 2% of their total set of personal traits/preferences/habits) can undermine the other 98% of their makeup that is healthy and positive. A trainload of healthy habits can be derailed by a few bad habits. Think about it: How many times have you said to yourself, “I really like X except they are so…” and ended your statement by naming one trait/habit/preference only? That ONE trait was a blockade to you forming a deeper, more trusting, longer term relationships with them. That ONE trait is also likely what I call a “derailer” – a major reason they are not promoted, are not a better parents, friends, etc. etc. * * * * * Look in the mirror. Do you recognize the value of insightfully managing your thorns? If not, you are likely derailed and you do not even know it. Studies have shown that even supposedly mature organizational leaders often fail to lead because they have personality thorns that they defensively protect, leading to truly catastrophic consequences. Personality derailers are not simply annoying traits, but often kill your ability to grow, relate, or at work be promoted or lead a team. Good news. We behavioral science experts are learning which personality thorns are particularly likely to derail someone. Advanced behavioral science assessment tools are providing 360 degree x-rays into personality and character for children, parents, athletes, and business people.

The following are 10 derailers that seem to not just irritate others, but stifle the personal and professional maturity process. Whatever age or role in life you are serving, take heed: * * * * * 1. Enviousness You are not truly happy for others success, and you work too hard to “keep up” with others on a material level.

2. Defensiveness Defensiveness toward being corrected or criticized. Generally hypersensitive people don’t mature, they just grow

3. Aloofness If you come off as cold/distant, you will not be trusted or influential.

4. Volatility Overly emotional people are attention hogs, and focus on themselves, not on the reality around them.

5. Eccentricity Eccentrics are funny in the moment, but when building a team may lack the ability tone down their eccentricity to build rapport. Deeper relationships are absent.

6. Entitlement You believe you deserve everything you want. A rampant epidemic attitude in our society.

7. Unreliable Character You are unpredictable, and not trusted or confided in.

8. Eagerness to Please You are more of a pleaser than an honest communicator. But your displeasure with things builds up and explodes at times.

9. Morally Scrupulous You find fault with even small misbehavior. No one meets every one of your rules. Your best friend is yourself.

10. Making Destructive Comments Needless sarcasm and cutting remarks erode any rapport you may have built up. Your relationships never “run deeper”.

This is not a complete list, and if you want to know what your derailers are, you or your child can undergo a 360 degree evaluation which comprehensively yet concisely assesses your personality. For more information you may want to check out the following credible books, which are as applicable to parents (who can cultivate a child away from these tendencies early on) as they are to business clients/athletes: What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, by Marshall Goldsmith (New York Times Bestseller) & Why CEO’s Fail, By David Dotlich & Peter Cairo Please feel free to forward this blog to anyone who might benefit. - See more at: http://www.doctorbrunner.com/10-character-flaws-that-can-derail-even-good-people/#sthash.vMFPHgVD.dpuf http://www.doctorbrunner.com/10-character-flaws-that-can-derail-even-good-people/

Happy First Day of Spring! 6 Rituals to tap into the Season's Energy by Barbara Biziou

Although we have gone from blizzards to uncanny warm days this winter, spring is finally in the air. Spring is the time when cultures around the world celebrate the possibility of new growth and fresh beginnings. In fact, the New Year was originally celebrated in March and early April, and anyone who didn’t realize it was considered an “April fool.” Remember, symbols are the language of the soul, and ritual speaks that language fluently. Here are six powerful rituals you can use to welcome spring and experience the seen and unseen worlds of infinite possibilities:

1. Love Mother Nature. Every culture, past and present, celebrates the natural beauty of spring with yearly rituals. In Rome, the lengthening of the day that followed the vernal (spring) equinox was marked by sacrifices to celebrate the death and rebirth of Attis—the god of vegetation. Goddesses of fertility—the Greeks’ Aphrodite, the Native Americans’ Spider woman, Mexico’s Tonantzin, Africa’s Oshun, Norway’s Freya, and Rome’s Flora—were all honored in the spring as well. Outdoor rituals infuse the world with new energy, so go out and plant a tree, clean up your local park, or participate in a community garden. Have a picnic in nature and bless some seeds for the coming season—hold them in your hands and visualize how each one holds the full potential for life. When you are finished, plant them in the earth and leave some for the birds to eat. Think of nature as a window into the natural world of the Divine.

2. Clean your home. In ancient Rome, women cleaned their houses in honor of Vesta—the goddess of the hearth. Take a cue from them and release the heaviness of winter by cleaning out your home. Get up early and gather clothes, toys, books, and other items that add clutter to your space. Donate them to a shelter, school, or needy family. This is a great way to create space for new life to emerge and reinforce the idea that giving is a blessing. When you’re finished, you’ll feel lighter, and so will the energy in your home. Purify your space even further by burning sage or copal, or opening all the windows to let in the fresh air. Symbols are the language of the soul, and ritual speaks that language fluently.

3. Disconnect from negativity. Our thoughts affect our emotions, which then influence the choices we make. Think about how you feel when you walk into a room where everyone is happy and positive, and then consider how you feel when you're surrounded by complaints and negativity. Emotions are contagious, so decide whose opinions you want to listen to and drop the rest. Carefully pick films, books, and TV shows that lift your spirit, and tune out the negative ones this season.

4. Create a basket of support. On separate pieces of paper, write down the names of people, places, animals, or objects that you feel support your efforts and have your back. Include those who have passed on to Spirit. Place the slips of paper into a basket or bowl and, once a week or more this spring, pick out a name from the basket and consciously send and receive love with that person throughout the day. You can send them an email, pick up a phone and call them, or simply think of them. It's been amazing to hear some of the people I reach out to tell me that they'd been feeling sick or scared and saw my presence as a source of comfort.

5. Gather scented gemstones. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and the one that begins our spring season, so why not create a magical bowl of scented gemstones to harness the symbol's energy? Gather gems that elicit spontaneous, daring, active, and courageous energy for springtime, like jasper, garnet ruby, diamond, amethyst, aquamarine, carnelian, or topaz. Anoint them with clove, coriander, frankincense, neroli, or pine, and breathe in the aroma to strengthen the Aries in you.

6. Make flower wishes. Write your wishes for the season on ribbons and tie them around flowers. You can gift these spirited bouquets to loved ones, friends, and even people you've just met. This simple act of generosity reminds me of the early peace marches in New York when people gave daffodils to strangers as a sign of peace and hope for the world. http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-23873/happy-first-day-of-spring-6-rituals-to-tap-into-the-seasons-energy.html

A Doctor Explains How to Write the Prescription For Your Own Health by Dr Lissa Rankin

Dr. Lissa Rankin is on a mission to merge science and spirituality. A certified MD and expert in integrative health, Lissa is a thought leader in mind-body medicine. If you're inspired to learn more, check out her new course: Getting Back to 100 Percent: A Six-Step Process for Radical Self-Healing. In my book, Mind Over Medicine, and in the training program I run for doctors and other health care providers, the Whole Health Medicine Institute, I teach the "6 steps to healing yourself" and step 5 is always to write your own prescription. I’m a physician, so it might sound strange for me to suggest that you may be able to write a prescription for yourself. Let me clarify: I’m NOT talking about having you steal a prescription pad so you can write an illegal script for your own Xanax. Nor am I telling you to listen to all those direct-to-consumer marketing ads that suggest "asking your doctor” for whatever expensive new wonder drug is on the market. (Did you know that direct-to-consumer marketing for prescription drugs is only legal in two countries in the world — the U.S. and New Zealand? But that’s a topic for another blog post.) What I’m suggesting is something radically different.

While conventional medical treatment options — drugs, surgeries, or other standard medical interventions — will get you far, I'm asking you to go even deeper. I'm encouraging you to diagnose the root cause of your illness or, if you’re not sick, the root cause of why you're not feeling 100 percent. In other words, find the aspect of your life that's predisposing you to illness or manifesting itself as sluggish energy or chronic fatigue. Here's how to do it: I’m not suggesting that you refuse a doctor’s conventional recommendations.

1. Address the root cause of illness. In order to address the root causes making you susceptible to illness, you’ll really need to listen to your “Inner Pilot Light" — that wise inner doctor who knows what’s best for you. Let’s suppose that someone with cancer or another serious illness feels lonely, works in a soul-sucking job, or has underlying depression. If you're sick and you’re not addressing your loneliness, stress, or depression, taking medicine may help in the short term, but the changes won't necessarily be permanent. Your illness may come back, or you might wind up with some other ailment because your body is still at the mercy of the root cause that put you at risk in the first place. I’m not suggesting that you refuse a doctor’s conventional recommendations. If your Inner Pilot Light says, “Hell yeah” to drugs, surgery, or any other treatment, do it. Modern medicine can work miracles, but so can your intuition.

2. Take charge of your health (with humility). Part of writing the prescription for yourself is stepping up to the plate as the head honcho of your health care. Remember, you’re the boss. Everyone else is in service to you. This doesn’t give you license to be a jerk to your doctor or anyone else who is doing his or her best to help you. Entitlement will not help you, but empowerment will. Make your body ripe for miracles by staying both empowered and humble. Let go of any victim story or perceived power imbalance between you and your doctor. You can call upon doctors and healers for their expertise, opinions, and support without relinquishing your power or violating your intuition. If your body is physically ill, sure, your doctor will help you diagnose what’s wrong, write prescriptions, and recommend surgery when they think it's necessary. But it’s up to you whether you take those drugs or submit to that surgery. If you do feel guided to partake of what conventional medicine has to offer, don’t stop there! Conventional medical treatment may be part of your larger prescription to health, but don’t use it as a crutch to avoid doing the deep inner work that helps you heal at the soul level. Modern medicine can work miracles, but so can your intuition.

3. Have the courage to heal from the root. By writing a prescription for yourself, you're refusing to allow medical treatment to serve as a Band-Aid that keeps you from facing the truth about where your life is out of alignment. Every individual’s prescription is going to be unique. Maybe your prescription, in addition to medicine, will include adjusting your wellness routine by cutting out carbs, starting an exercise regimen, or adding green juice to your diet. Or it might include actions like finding a community, leaving your job, finding your calling, or prioritizing self-care. When you’re willing to be honest with yourself about what your body might be saying “no” to, you come face to face with the truth of who you are and what your soul needs in order to fully express its glorious radiance.

Once you heal any soul sickness that's interfering with your health, you'll not only start to feel better — you'll start to glow. You'll open yourself to synchronicity and move closer to finding and fulfilling your calling in the world. Optimal health is just one of many magical unfoldings that often accompanies doing the deep inner work of writing your own prescription http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-24073/a-doctor-explains-how-to-write-the-prescription-for-your-own-health.html

Why Living in a Smaller Home can help you raise a Happy Kid by Brett Graff

In her new book, Not Buying It: Stop Overspending and Start Raising Happier, Healthier, More Successful Kids, Brett Graff, a former economist and now a nationally known personal finance and parenting expert, breaks down the myths around money and child-rearing. In this adapted excerpt, she explains why buying a big house isn't necessary—and how having a smaller home can actually benefit kids in the long run. Just after announcing their pregnancy, my friends Larry and Gayle bought their dream McMansion in a suburb of Cleveland. The home brought the great promise of happiness an American family can achieve only by acquiring an oversize kitchen, a sprawling master bath, and 15-foot ceilings. Larry happily embarked on his new two-hour commute to work, shrugging his shoulders and saying, “Oh, it’s not bad,” before reminding us about all the reading one can accomplish on a train ride.

That’s hardly debatable—we all want more reading time. But what might be worth examining are the motives behind American families’ lust for larger homes. Homes are the single most expensive aspect of raising kids, according to a 2014 government report. And newly constructed houses have, on average, increased in size by 53 percent since 1973, according to the Census Bureau. The ratio of houses with three or more stories has doubled. Kids thrive in smaller houses, which foster family communication and cultivate bonding between siblings. New homes are designed with features that provide for more space and greater privacy. While these features most certainly come in handy when we’re touring our friends around, experts wonder: Where did we get the idea that sprawling living rooms and child-centric wings are essential for successfully raising kids?

Why You Don't Need a Big Home to Raise a Successful, Happy Kid Big houses are not necessarily bad for families. But we seem to have collectively decided that when it comes to living quarters, bigger is better in every circumstance. That each of us needs space and privacy. That all our friends have a big house, so we should get one, too. These houses—we may have come to believe—are tangible measures of our happiness and success. And that’s 100 percent false.

Kids thrive in smaller houses, which by design can help them dodge some invisible struggles that later plague adolescents and teens. For starters, these homes create more convenient backdrops for family communication and cultivate bonding between siblings. Plus, sometimes smaller homes are closer to a city and tend to cut down parents’ commute times.

And who was it that decided that each of our kids should have their own bedroom? There’s no research stating that children, particularly young ones, thrive more fully when they can close the door and be alone. On the contrary, room-sharing has a litany of psychological benefits, starting with the sense of emotional protection at bedtime. Because the frontal lobe of a child’s brain is still developing between the ages of 2 and 5, kids cannot separate imaginary life from real life, says Dr. Gwen Wurm, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician in Miami who wrote the foreword to my book. This accounts for kids truly believing there are monsters in the closet. And having a sibling in the room offers a security they might not be able to express or even realize. That presence can combat resistance to bedtime and can foster peaceful sleeping, says Dr. Wurm.

Smaller houses encourage the kind of unscripted moments during which real teaching and genuine communication occurs. That doesn’t mean peace will remain through all waking hours. Small disagreements and full-scale wars, complete with the hurling of toy-car missiles, are a certainty among all siblings, including those who share a room. But even that clashing can set the stage for the kind of sibling connection that lasts a lifetime. Room-sharing provides so many ways for sisters or brothers or even combinations—though there are benefits to separating those kids before puberty—to work together as a team and learn to negotiate. A bunkmate also provides kids with a built-in confidante. And a strong sibling bond has lifelong benefits.

A smaller home also probably means the TV can be heard from around the house. The rewards come when we’re able to effortlessly monitor what our kids are watching. We can scream, “Change the channel,” or simply step in and magically appear for a teachable moment, educating our kids on being careful consumers during commercials. While fast-food chains and toy makers are trying to hold them captive, we can explain that people on television may seem beautiful and happy stuffing fries in their mouths, but they are acting.

It’s simple: The more opportunities a family has to communicate, the more a family will communicate. Smaller houses encourage the kind of unscripted moments during which real teaching and genuine communication occurs, says Dr. Wurm. The best discussions aren’t planned, she says, but are sparked from passing each other in hallways or from sitting around a kitchen island. Smaller homes give kids and adults easy access to one another, making the spontaneous expression of a thought or daily event practically effortless.

And if the size of your house means kids are sick of seeing you all the time, good; tell them to go outside. Rather than lounging around on leather sofas, Dr. Wurm wants to see our kids spend time outdoors, particularly in green or wooded areas. This enhances their physical and mental well-being. Sunlight and trees are natural mood elevators, and exercise improves a kid’s ability to learn and concentrate. Studies from the University of Illinois point out that kids score better on tests after exercise, and separate research proves children with ADHD display higher levels of focus after coming in from outside.

Overall, all this is not to say that people in big houses won’t be home in time for dinner or will somehow neglect to communicate with their unsuccessful kids. Besides, how could we even define the words "big houses," seeing as it would have a far different definition for a family in New York City than it would for a Texan? Rather, the idea is to introduce some alternative considerations when contemplating the homes we choose and evaluating their locations and sizes. Or even during those unfortunate times when we compare our lives to other people’s lives.

It’s true, many families—hopefully most—with colossal kitchens will do a great job of organizing sibling-bonding opportunities. But considering the true developmental needs of our kids, those families without so much space will not be doing even one bit worse. Adapted excerpt from Not Buying It: Stop Overspending and Start Raising Happier, Healthier, More Successful Kids by Brett Graff. Available from Seal Press, a member of The Perseus Books Group. Copyright © 2016. http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-24064/why-living-in-a-smaller-home-can-help-you-raise-a-happy-kid.html

11 Ways Clutter is Messing With Your Health and Relationships by Karen Kingston

11 Ways Clutter Is Messing With Your Health & Relationships Most people have no idea how much their clutter affects them. It is only when you start clearing it out that you realize how much better you feel without it. Here are some of the main effects to watch out for: 1. Having clutter can make you feel tired and lethargic. Most people who have clutter say they can’t find the energy to begin to clear it. But the stagnant energy that stacks up around clutter actually causes tiredness and lethargy. Clearing it frees up the energy in your home and releases new vitality in your body.

2. Having clutter can keep you in the past. When all your available space is filled with clutter, there is no room for anything new to come into your life. You tend to you look back rather than forward in your life, blaming the past for your current situation rather than taking responsibility for creating a better tomorrow. Clearing your clutter allows you to begin to deal with your problems and move forward. It is vital to release the past to create a better tomorrow.

3. Having clutter can congest your body. When you have lots of clutter, the energy of your home gets congested, and so does your body. Clutterbugs generally do not get enough exercise; are often constipated; have dull, clogged complexions; and show no vitality in their eyes. People with little clutter in their lives are generally more active. The choice is yours.

4. Having clutter can confuse you. When you live surrounded by clutter, it is impossible to have clarity about what you are doing in your life. When you clear it, you can think more clearly and life decisions become easier. Being clear of clutter is one of the greatest aids I know to discovering and creating the life you want.

5. Having clutter can affect the way people treat you. People treat you the way you treat yourself. So if you value yourself and look after yourself, people will treat you well. If you “let yourself go” and allow the junk to mount up around you, you may attract people who mistreat you in some way because subconsciously you feel that is what you deserve. When you sort out your home, you can improve all your relationships in the process.

6. Having clutter can make you procrastinate. If you have a lot of clutter, you will tend to put off doing things until "tomorrow." The clutter stagnates your energy and makes it difficult to get yourself to do anything. After clutter clearing you are likely to surprise yourself (and everyone else!) by wanting to do things you’ve put off for a long time.

7. Having clutter can cause disharmony. Clutter is a major cause of arguments in families and between housemates, business partners, and coworkers. If you live or work knee-deep in the stuff and those around you do not, their lifestyle will not impede your progress, but yours most certainly can impede theirs. Clear up your clutter and then you will be able to get to the higher possibilities of what you can do together, which is much more interesting than arguing about mundane junk!

8. Having clutter can put your life on hold. Don't let your life slip away. Sit down right now and write a list of all the things you would love to do if only your clutter were sorted, and let this be the inspiration for you to get on with it.

9. Having clutter can depress you. The stagnant energy of clutter pulls you down and can make you feel depressed. Feelings of hopelessness are compounded by clutter and can be relieved to some extent by clearing it, because you create space for something new to come into your life. http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-24035/11-ways-clutter-is-messing-with-your-health-relationships.html

Charities aim to get disabled children playing by Emma Tracey

Parents of disabled children say finding fun things for them to do is a full-time job. Could a new TripAdvisor-style site solve this? "We went as a family to a water park which has a klaxon which goes off to let you know the wave machine is about to start," says Alexa Wilson. It wouldn't cause problems for most families but her children, Ellie 13 and Toby ten, both have Fragile X syndrome - a form of autism which comes with learning disabilities. Ellie doesn't like unexpected loud noises and, when the klaxon sounded she got up and ran out and refused to return. "This is just one more place we now can't visit," says Wilson. "Had we known about the klaxon, we could have warned her." It's this sort of extra detail that SENDirect hopes to provide. It's a new review website aimed at families with children who have Special Educational Needs or Disabilities (SEND).

Stan Palmer is 12 and has Down's syndrome. His dad, Steve, says most activities don't advertise that they're inclusive, even if they are, which creates uncertainty. He says more effort needs to go into making it obvious so that parents can make the right choices. "If we just turned up at a mainstream rugby class with Stan, it just wouldn't work because he needs extra attention," he says. "Or if he was typically developing he might say 'I'm going to paint a picture now', but we have to help and guide him into play." Palmer currently finds out about inclusive leisure activities for his son in a "very ad hoc" manner via other parents of SEND children, or on social media.

Stan's dad Steve says it's difficult to find suitable activities for him According to the consortium of nine charities behind the new website, Palmer is not alone. Useful information about inclusive family activities and many other important services is scarce. In a recent survey by the consortium, three-quarters of families said they have difficulty finding information about what services are available to them. "We developed SENDirect in response to families telling us that finding vital local services for any child with additional needs is over-complicated, confusing and choice is severely limited," says Jolanta Lasota, chair of the consortium. Stan's dad says he needs extra attention when playing The new website allows visitors to search by postcode, price range and age suitability, for everything from health services, to specialist equipment, to childcare. Family activities come under the category "fun stuff".

For Wilson it is important that her children get to as many leisure activities as possible. "Life skills and social skills are more important for Ellie and Toby than straight-forward education," she says, "because building up friendships and social skills is what is going to help them survive when we're not around to look after them." Functional services have traditionally been prioritised for disabled people but Lasota says that being able to find and use leisure resources might reduce a need to use other expensive specialist services - such as mental illness facilities. "We know that isolation leads to mental health difficulties and therefore those people would need more access to mental health services," she says. "What we're trying to do is break down that isolation, so that families are included in their communities and don't feel so alone." Hundreds of parents were involved in the development of SENDirect. They helped decide what sort of information they would find useful when researching services. Users can rate each service based on their experience, which will then be visible for all to read. This is something Wilson welcomes so she can do her homework and avoid failure. "It's taken trial and error to find out which cinemas and theatres are right for Ellie." She says lots of "fun things" have an accessibility statement but usually this just means access for wheelchair-users. "They don't really think about people with learning disabilities," she says. Wilson says that if she heard about a cinema that has a more tolerant attitude to a little noise then she would go there. She observes that if parents are less anxious then in turn their children will be more relaxed too. "We have had bad experiences in theatres where staff were unhelpful to the point of rudeness," she says.

Sixteen-year-old Shane Goncalves has cerebral palsy, is blind and has a severe learning disability. His mum, Sam Bergin-Goncalves, wants nothing more than for her son to reach his full potential, be independent and live a life with rich and varied experiences - as any parent would want. She has an interesting thought on how sharing information like this can lead to even more positive collaborations. She says she's hoping that SENDirect will give her family the ability to link up with others to pool money from their personal budgets - funding given to them by social services - and widen the opportunities available. "It would be good to approach providers with ideas for activities that my son and his friends would like to do," she says. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-ouch-30923074