Traditional toys or technology? by Sarah Bauer

Study: Traditional toys better than electronics for young children America Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting screen time By Sarah C. Bauer Special to CNN Published 01/13 2016 10:15AMUpdated 01/13 2016 10:15AM Copyright 2016 Cable News Network/Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. (CNN) If as a parent, you are trying to spend more time with your family and play more with your children, then perhaps it is a good time to consider the kind of play and what type of toys will be the most beneficial for your child's development in the long run. A recent study from Northern Arizona University found that electronic toys such as a baby laptop or cell phone do not promote language development in young children as well as books and traditional toys such as wooden puzzles, shape-sorters and blocks. As a developmental pediatrician, I am troubled -- but not surprised -- that electronic toys were associated with decreased quantity and quality of language between parents and children. What we are measuring here is time and relationships; traditional books and toys can require more time and personal connection than electronic ones, including games and videos on smartphones and iPads. It is much easier sometimes to allow children to entertain themselves with electronic toys than it is for us to directly interact by reading and playing with them. This becomes a problem when such technology-sitting is the rule rather than the exception. How kids use technology Another recent study from Ireland found that children as young as 2 are able to purposefully use touch-screen technology such as an iPad or other tablet. Dr. Deirdre Murray, the lead researcher of this study, states, "Interactive touch-screen applications offer a level of engagement not previously experienced with other forms of media and more akin to traditional play." This mirrors what I see in the clinic where I work. Parents proudly show me how their toddlers are able to use a tablet to play games or watch a video on YouTube. An interactive screen or smart phone is like a cause and effect toy -- both for adults and children. You touch something and get instant feedback. This is why I think children can sit for hours playing on a screen, but have trouble paying attention in class. While this study establishes that young children are able to use touch-screen technology well, it is different for children to be using a tablet interactively with a parent than playing games by themselves in isolation. Further studies are needed to establish how this dynamic would affect language development. Parents often ask me if electronics, including smartphones and tablets, are good or bad for their children's development. Questions include whether a child should use the tablet at all and how much time is too much. As is the case with most parenting questions, the answer is not as simple as yes or no. Language development is founded in our earliest social relationships. A baby's first smile acknowledges familiar faces, and parents are able to distinguish cries of hunger versus pain in a nonverbal infant. Early social and language development matters, because it is associated with reading skills and academic success. So what happens when another entity enters relationships between parents and children, including the ever-present smartphone and tablet? I advise parents that it is not the technology that is the problem, but rather how much and how it is used. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that total screen time is limited to one to two hours per day and it is not recommended for children under age 2. Because children can watch videos and play video games on smartphones and tablets, these count as screen time, not just the television. The AAP plans to update this policy in October 2016 to reflect the most updated technology that is available as well as the most recent research about media use. For some young children, technology might be helpful for communication and motivation, but it is important to use it thoughtfully, with intention, and in small increments of time. 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Mail Icon Mail Icon Mail Icon Study: Traditional toys better than electronics for young children America Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting screen time By Sarah C. Bauer Special to CNN Published 01/13 2016 10:15AMUpdated 01/13 2016 10:15AM Copyright 2016 Cable News Network/Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. (CNN) If as a parent, you are trying to spend more time with your family and play more with your children, then perhaps it is a good time to consider the kind of play and what type of toys will be the most beneficial for your child's development in the long run. A recent study from Northern Arizona University found that electronic toys such as a baby laptop or cell phone do not promote language development in young children as well as books and traditional toys such as wooden puzzles, shape-sorters and blocks. As a developmental pediatrician, I am troubled -- but not surprised -- that electronic toys were associated with decreased quantity and quality of language between parents and children. What we are measuring here is time and relationships; traditional books and toys can require more time and personal connection than electronic ones, including games and videos on smartphones and iPads. It is much easier sometimes to allow children to entertain themselves with electronic toys than it is for us to directly interact by reading and playing with them. This becomes a problem when such technology-sitting is the rule rather than the exception. How kids use technology Another recent study from Ireland found that children as young as 2 are able to purposefully use touch-screen technology such as an iPad or other tablet. Dr. Deirdre Murray, the lead researcher of this study, states, "Interactive touch-screen applications offer a level of engagement not previously experienced with other forms of media and more akin to traditional play." This mirrors what I see in the clinic where I work. Parents proudly show me how their toddlers are able to use a tablet to play games or watch a video on YouTube. An interactive screen or smart phone is like a cause and effect toy -- both for adults and children. You touch something and get instant feedback. This is why I think children can sit for hours playing on a screen, but have trouble paying attention in class. While this study establishes that young children are able to use touch-screen technology well, it is different for children to be using a tablet interactively with a parent than playing games by themselves in isolation. Further studies are needed to establish how this dynamic would affect language development. Parents often ask me if electronics, including smartphones and tablets, are good or bad for their children's development. Questions include whether a child should use the tablet at all and how much time is too much. As is the case with most parenting questions, the answer is not as simple as yes or no. Language development is founded in our earliest social relationships. A baby's first smile acknowledges familiar faces, and parents are able to distinguish cries of hunger versus pain in a nonverbal infant. Early social and language development matters, because it is associated with reading skills and academic success. So what happens when another entity enters relationships between parents and children, including the ever-present smartphone and tablet? I advise parents that it is not the technology that is the problem, but rather how much and how it is used. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that total screen time is limited to one to two hours per day and it is not recommended for children under age 2. Because children can watch videos and play video games on smartphones and tablets, these count as screen time, not just the television. The AAP plans to update this policy in October 2016 to reflect the most updated technology that is available as well as the most recent research about media use. For some young children, technology might be helpful for communication and motivation, but it is important to use it thoughtfully, with intention, and in small increments of time. What parents can do Reading with children from infancy promotes early language development, which in turn promotes early literacy. These skills are essential for kindergarten entry and long-term success throughout the lifespan. For parents and caregivers, media can also be a positive mode of social connectedness with their children. The Daily Vroom is a new app for parents to assist in facilitating early development using everyday items and activities. It is personalized to the age and gender of each child and takes advantage of everyday activities that parents and children do together, such as mealtimes, dressing and bedtime. I recently started talking with families about this app, especially if they are looking for ideas on how to play and facilitate development in their children. In my clinics, I see children who are learning differently than expected and may have developmental differences such as autism and communication disorders. Technology can also be a way to understand how children who struggle to communicate see the world, but cannot always tell us. Smart phones and tablets can have a different level of importance for communication, including pictures that depict wants and needs, as well as schedules for various daily activities. Autism Speaks has compiled a list of known apps as well as the evidence supporting their use. Children may have difficulty transitioning from the tablet to another activity, and its removal can precipitate a tantrum or meltdown. It can be difficult to recover from these tantrums, and continuing use sometimes helps a parent just get through the day. Moderation and mindfulness of how children use technology is imperative. Relationships establish the foundation of children's development. Technology can connect us, but it can also isolate us. Reading with children from infancy promotes early language development, which in turn promotes early literacy. These skills are essential for kindergarten entry and long-term success throughout the lifespan. For parents and caregivers, media can also be a positive mode of social connectedness with their children. The Daily Vroom is a new app for parents to assist in facilitating early development using everyday items and activities. It is personalized to the age and gender of each child and takes advantage of everyday activities that parents and children do together, such as mealtimes, dressing and bedtime. I recently started talking with families about this app, especially if they are looking for ideas on how to play and facilitate development in their children. In my clinics, I see children who are learning differently than expected and may have developmental differences such as autism and communication disorders. Technology can also be a way to understand how children who struggle to communicate see the world, but cannot always tell us. Smart phones and tablets can have a different level of importance for communication, including pictures that depict wants and needs, as well as schedules for various daily activities. Autism Speaks has compiled a list of known apps as well as the evidence supporting their use. Children may have difficulty transitioning from the tablet to another activity, and its removal can precipitate a tantrum or meltdown. It can be difficult to recover from these tantrums, and continuing use sometimes helps a parent just get through the day. Moderation and mindfulness of how children use technology is imperative. Relationships establish the foundation of children's development. Technology can connect us, but it can also isolate us.

The Secret Word to Easier Parenting by Abundant Mama

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” ― Benjamin Franklin You want your child to do what you ask. You want them to hear you the first time. You want them to do it right, too. But, they don’t listen. They squawk and argue. You’re feeling hopeless. You don’t want to fight about it. So, I give you the secret word to easier parenting that also happens to invite connection between you and your independent offspring. Are you ready? Here’s the secret word to easier parenting: Let’s (is that really two words?) Let’s clean your room. Let’s go outside and play. Let’s read. Let’s eat all of our veggies tonight. Let’s see how fast we can get the dishes done tonight. Let’s make dinner. Let’s __________. {Fill in the blank on what you’ll say today} Using let’s is a lot nicer than saying GO. It’s more welcoming. More loving. More playful. And, so, even if it doesn’t always work (because it will not always work), by using it you’ve begun transforming how you speak to each other at home. And that makes the world a happier place to live, doesn’t it? What do you think? Is this a word you use often or not? Please share any other words you use on a regular basis to create more peace in your home. If you like this idea of easier parenting, please sign up to get on the Abundant Mama waiting list for April 2015.http://www.abundantmama.com/the-secret-word-to-easier-parenting/

Mothers living with conflict by Elaine Heffner

The revival of Wendy Wasserstein’s play “The Heidi Chronicles” focuses attention on unresolved questions in an earlier form from an earlier time. Having opened on Broadway first in 1989, the play ended the decade that began with Helen Gurley Brown’s “Having it All” in 1982. That decade having begun with high expectations, Wasserstein reflects the questioning and perhaps disillusionment at its end. It is interesting to revisit the evolution of women’s choices and feelings during a period that marked a struggle to transform the role of women. The 1970s, a time of militant feminism, was marked in a sense by avoiding the central conflict women were to face between caring for children — emotionally and physically — while pursuing personal goals. The focus was on personal fulfillment and rejection of the “housewife” label. But women did find themselves with the wish — or need — for mates and children as part of their “personal fulfillment.” In the early ‘80s I was asked to do a survey for Redbook Magazine on how women felt about motherhood. The results revealed a renewed interest and desire to have children as an expression of being fulfilled as a woman. A new baby boom was on the way and the “solution” to “having it all” was to become “superwoman.” This gave rise to the familiar ads in newspapers and magazines portraying a mom with a briefcase in one arm and a baby on the other. The world has moved on, bringing new realities. Women as breadwinners have become the norm. The economy as well as social changes no longer support the traditional picture of father as economic provider and mother as caretaker of home and children. In increasing numbers women have become primary breadwinners and fathers have taken the role of child care. Economic reality often replaces personal fulfillment. Yet the conflict between personal goals and commitment to others continues to find expression — often in unsatisfying solutions. Increasingly, women who have the financial means have returned to full-time motherhood in response to the stresses of combining child care with demanding jobs. The conflict involved in this history and in present dilemmas is not one that can be resolved if the goal is to no longer experience conflict. In our wish to rid ourselves of unpleasant conflicted feelings, we continue the search for a solution to accomplish that goal. But a conflict between personal needs and wishes and those of others is inherent in all human relationships and is especially strong in relationships with our dependent children. Much of life consists of trying to balance which needs predominate in situations that occur daily. Page 2 of 2 - The inherent conflict in relationships is intensified by both internal and external factors that need to be addressed. On the social level, nostalgia for an earlier time has contributed to the failure to provide needed universal child-care supports. On the internal level, destructive feelings of guilt on the part of mothers interfere with an ability to balance their own needs with those of their children. Part of that guilt is an expression of the deep love and responsibility they feel for their children. Part is the legacy of theories about children and mothers and children’s needs. These theories were developed when the norm was mothers as full-time caregivers, which then tied meeting children’s needs to mother care rather than nurturing. As a consequence, ideas about children’s needs and being a “good mother” have been distorted. The real task, which has not yet been adequately addressed, is learning to live with feelings of conflict, recognizing that it is part of the human condition. Elaine Heffner, LCSW, Ed.D., has written for Parents Magazine, Fox.com, Redbook, Disney online and PBS Parents, as well as other publications. She is a psychotherapist and parent educator in private practice, as well as a senior lecturer of education in psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College. Dr. Heffner was a co-founder and served as director of the Nursery School Treatment Center at Payne Whitney Clinic, New York Hospital. She blogs at goodenoughmothering.co.uk http://www.mpnnow.com/article/20150331/NEWS/150339929/2002/LIFESTYLE/?Start=2k

When Breast Feeding Isn't Easy (Plus 6Tips) byb Linnea Covington

New Mother’s Anguish: When Breastfeeding Isn’t Easy (Plus 6 Tips) Breastfeeding can be difficult, and a lot of work. One mother shares her experience and tips. * * * For most mothers, feeding your baby is one of the first things you do after your child is born and placed in your arms. That is, if you are lucky enough to have a problem-free birth. Unfortunately for me, when my son entered the world he wasn’t screaming; in fact, he wasn’t breathing at all. That blissful moment of bonding over baby’s first meal didn’t happen for three days, and even then, it was in the neonatal intensive care unit, known as NICU, surrounded by blinking machines, other teary-eyed parents, and a lot of nurses. * * * When our time to breastfeed finally did arrive, I felt the sharp bite of hard gums and the desperate suck of a hungry baby, a sensation both painful and beautiful, and yes, I cried. But just because my son took well to the boob those first few times doesn’t mean it was perfect from there. To start with, like most new moms, I wasn’t making enough milk to properly nourish my child while breastfeeding. The doctors in the NICU told me point blank: You can continue to pump and nurse him here, but he will have to stay on IV fluids — and stay longer. Or, they said, you can supplement his diet with formula and he should be fine in five days. After a labor that completely derailed from my original delivery plan, I didn’t want to change my decision to feed my child only breast milk. I didn’t want the guilt of feeling like the worst mother ever for giving my kid formula. But the need to have my son strong and home won out. When baby Gunnar was discharged five days later healthy and full, I realized it was worth it. * * * There are many reasons why breastfeeding is widely promoted. Breast milk has all the nutrients and antibodies your child needs, it’s the perfect temperature, it’s conveniently right there all the time, and hey, it’s free. But I’ve come to believe that formula is a good supplement or substitute when circumstances require it, especially when it means mom and baby are happier, healthier, or less stressed as a result. Huge developments have been made in the world of formula, and I feel there is nothing wrong with giving it to your baby. There are all sorts of reasons moms end up going this route: issues with milk production, babies unable to latch on, the return to the workplace, or physical and emotional discomfort. One friend of mine said she was so anxious about breastfeeding that it affected bonding with her son. After a few months she decided formula would have to do, for the sake of her child and her own mental health. And guess what? At two years old, her son is perfectly fine. * * * As for me, I figured breastfeeding would be simple and exactly as portrayed in movies, on the street, and in cafes. Easy, right? You just cuddle that little bundle of joy to your bosom and allow him to suck until satisfied. Sure, but what if he keeps falling asleep at say, 1 a.m., while feeding? Every time you try and take him away from the boob, he wakes up and wants more. In the end, I wasn’t sleeping and I had a nagging feeling my son wasn’t getting enough milk, a fear unfounded but none the less real. When you have to feed your newborn every two to three hours, it quickly becomes the biggest deal in your life. As a food writer who has spent most of her time thinking about eating, having someone else’s insatiable hunger as the focus of my every waking hour threw me for a loop. Feeding a baby is completely different than feeding myself, and frankly, not nearly as fun. After a week, I felt like I was losing my mind. I honestly didn’t know how other women did it, but I knew something needed to change, which is why I started bottle-feeding expressed milk at night. The time- and stress-saver helped tremendously and gave me energy in the morning to really cherish nursing. Plus, it allowed my son’s dad to enjoy baby’s mealtime as well. However a mother ends up feeding her child those first few weeks is up to her. Guilt or societal norms shouldn’t influence the decision. The real trick if you’re a new mom is to listen to your body and your baby. * * * Tips for breastfeeding mothers: 1. Don’t expect your newborn to latch on perfectly the first few weeks. If you need help, take advantage of the lactation consultants in the maternity war while you are in the hospital. If you need more help once you are home, contact your local Le Leche League. 2. Herbal supplements and teas can boost milk production (plus the ritual of making and drinking tea helps you relax, which in turn aids lactation). Most of the available products are herbal blends that include fennel, blessed thistle, and fenugreek, which, be warned, can cause gas in some mothers and babies. Good products to try include Traditional Medicinals’ Mother’s Milk tea, Motherlove’s More Milk Plus capsules or tincture, and Yogi’s Woman’s Nursing Support tea. 3. Make sure you are as comfortable or as cozy as you can be. I had a C-section and found the Brest Friend pillow really helped with nursing the baby over the incision. 4. Drink lots of water, approximately 16 cups a day. To help make sure I’m getting enough, I actually keep a tally. Even if you feel like you are consuming enough, you might be surprised. Hitting the 16-cup mark isn’t easy. 5. Eat a lot of good food. Though it’s hard to feed yourself, especially right after having a baby, eating is super important. Breastfeeding burns up to 500 calories a day, so you really need the nutrients to keep you going and to produce more milk. 6. Don’t be afraid to go out. If you’re at a restaurant, coffee shop, or café, try and get seated at a corner table. It’s more discreet and if you don’t like using a feeding cover, you will only be flashing your tablemates. It also helps to let the server or host know you plan on breastfeeding. That way they can stop by at more convenient times and get you the most private table possible, if that’s what you want. https://www.yahoo.com/food/new-mothers-anguish-when-breastfeeding-isnt-114409996806.html

10 Ways to Declutter your Life by Gina Luker

10 ways to declutter your day - easy time managment tips from a busy momIn all of that rearranging and time management, I learned the essentials that became 10 ways to declutter your day. 1) Pull the plug on computer time. When I began carefully watching where my day was going, I realized I would easily waste six hours a day online. I tried to trick myself into believing that I was working, but hanging out on Facebook chatting with friends isn’t really working. So I decided to try something new: I plug up my laptop at night, then only use one full battery’s worth a day. My battery lasts about two hours, so I get two hours a day to do all my work that has to be done on the computer. I found SO much more time with this one thing I could have stopped there. (This didn’t apply to my book writing time, however I did unplug my wi-fi during writing hours to eliminate distractions.) 10 ways to declutter your day

2) Find the main drain. I am a phone talker – and I always have been. Since I have very few local friends, I keep in touch with all of my friends who are scattered all over the country by talking to them on the phone. One day I realized I had caught up with all of my buddies, but hadn’t accomplished anything other than wasting an entire day on the phone. Now I allow myself one long conversation a day. Other than that, I have 15 minutes to get on and off a call – but I try to do most of my communicating through texts when possible. Now I keep up with my friends, and have plenty of time to enjoy the conversations because I’m not bombarded by them. Your vice may not be talking on the phone… it might be Candy Crush, or online shopping, or perfecting your disco dance moves. Whatever the major time drain is, find it and tame that beast. I’m not saying to eliminate it, just tone it down (in my very best Ross Gellar voice.)

3) Set iPhone reminders for everything. From twice daily “reboot the laundry” to “go for a walk” – everything that needs a daily nudge goes into my phone. No more forgetting if my phone lets me know! It was easy to wander around trying to think of what to do, now I know what needs to be done and just do it. 10 Ways to Declutter Your Day 4) Get my sweat on. I know it may seem counter-productive to add something new in, but I find once I’ve walked for only 20 minutes, my mind is clearer and I seem to have more energy to tackle the things that need to be accomplished each day. 5) Run all errands one day a week. Most weeks I only leave my house one day a week. I know, I’m a hermit. Partially it’s because I want to hide from the world, but when it takes over an hour just to drive to town and back, I can save a ton of time just grouping things into one major trip and be done with it. That’s it. If I forget something, both my husband and daughter drive by multiple stores daily, so it’s not a big deal. I pay most of my bills online (like most of the world these days), and I grocery/supply shop all on one day. Saves gas, saves money, saves time. Triple win – yay!

6) Keep a calendar. Writing down appointments, school functions, party/shower invites, everything all in one place, helps me to know what day to run those errands. If I can work it around other things, it makes my life easier. If I have nothing on the calendar that week (because we don’t do sports, etc.) means I can choose my day depending on the weather or whatever needs to dictate my schedule. 7) Plan a menu. Each week I plan out my menu and do all my shopping so that I’m prepared to feed my family without standing in the kitchen wondering what in the world to do. When I have a plan, my life seems to go easier. Spending those 30 minutes once a week to plan my menu and shopping list helps me get in and out of the grocery store in no time, saving me even more time.

8) Get organized. I cannot even begin to explain how much of my life I have spent looking for lost items. Way too much. This past summer I got myself organized – totally, completely, thoroughly organized. Best decision ever. Now I know where stuff is, I’m not spending mass amounts of time cleaning/organizing/decluttering stuff I don’t need. It transforms your life in more ways than you will ever understand until you actually do it. 9) Clean 20 minutes, daily. Getting organized brought to light a fairly new habit at our house – gimme 20 minutes. Every day when my girls get home from school we crank up the music and clean for 20 minutes. You’d be amazed at how clean you can keep a house in only 20 minutes a day. No more days full of cleaning – no more yelling at them to pick up their things. And the music helps to make it fun. If we spend those 20 minutes cleaning, then we have the rest of the afternoon (or day) to spend together doing things we enjoy. And bonus – most days we’re done in less than 15 minutes!

5)Schedule in down time. Every day I read a book - I allow myself plenty of time to let my mind chill out, stop thinking so hard, and just relax. Usually I do it at night, but if I'm seriously stressed I will do it in the middle of the day. Some days I even use the time to take a nap or catch up on my favorite shows on DVR. Whatever it is, taking time to relax makes me better all the way around. 10)Schedule in down time. Every day I read a book – I allow myself plenty of time to let my mind chill out, stop thinking so hard, and just relax. Usually I do it at night, but if I’m seriously stressed I will do it in the middle of the day. Some days I even use the time to take a nap or catch up on my favorite shows on DVR. Whatever it is, taking time to relax makes me better all the way around. What’s your best time management tip? I’m always looking for more ways to declutter my day. http://www.theshabbycreekcottage.com/2013/10/time-management.html

Poor children seem to fare better in poor neighbourhoods - the paradox of the ghetto

The paradox of the ghetto Unnervingly, poor children seem to fare better in poor neighbourho THE poorest people in Leicester by a wide margin are the Somalis who live in the St Matthews housing estate. Refugees from civil war, who often passed through Sweden or the Netherlands before fetching up in the English Midlands, they endure peeling surroundings and appalling joblessness. At the last census the local unemployment rate was three times the national average. But Abdikayf Farah, who runs a local charity, is oddly upbeat. Just look at the children, he says. Close to Mr Farah’s office is Taylor Road Primary School—which, it turns out, trumps almost every school in Leicester in standardised tests. Its headmaster, Chris Hassall, credits the Somali immigrants, who insist that their children turn up for extra lessons at weekends and harry him when they seem to fall behind. Education is their ticket out of poverty. Poor district, wonderful school, well-ordered children: in Britain, the combination is not as unusual as one might suppose.

Britain has prized the ideal of economically mixed neighbourhoods since the 19th century. Poverty and disadvantage are intensified when poor people cluster, runs the argument; conversely, the rich are unfairly helped when they are surrounded by other rich people. Social mixing ought to help the poor. It sounds self-evident—and colours planning regulations that ensure much social and affordable housing is dotted among more expensive private homes. Yet “there is absolutely no serious evidence to support this,” says Paul Cheshire, a professor of economic geography at the London School of Economics (LSE). And there is new evidence to suggest it is wrong. Researchers at Duke University in America followed over 1,600 children from age five to age 12 in England and Wales. They found that poor boys living in largely well-to-do neighbourhoods were the most likely to engage in anti-social behaviour, from lying and swearing to such petty misdemeanours as fighting, shoplifting and vandalism, according to a commonly used measure of problem behaviour. Misbehaviour starts very young (see chart 1) and intensifies as they grow older. Poor boys in the poorest neighbourhoods were the least likely to run into trouble. For rich kids, the opposite is true: those living in poor areas are more likely to misbehave.

The researchers suggest several reasons for this. Poorer areas are often heavily policed, deterring would-be miscreants; it may be that people in wealthy places are less likely to spot misbehaviour, too. Living alongside the rich may also make the poor more keenly aware of their own deprivation, suggests Tim Newburn, a criminologist who is also at the LSE. That, in turn, increases the feelings of alienation that are associated with anti-social conduct and criminal behaviour. Research on England’s schools turns up a slightly different pattern. Children entitled to free school meals—a proxy for poverty—do best in schools containing very few other poor children, perhaps because teachers can give them plenty of attention. But, revealingly, poor children also fare unusually well in schools where there are a huge number of other poor children. That may be because schools have no choice but to focus on them. Thus in Tower Hamlets, a deprived east London borough, 60% of poor pupils got five good GCSEs (the exams taken at 16) in 2013; the national average was 38%. Worst served are pupils who fall in between, attending schools where they are insufficiently numerous to merit attention but too many to succeed alone (see chart 2).

Mr Cheshire reckons that America, too, provides evidence of the limited benefits of social mixing. Look, he says, at the Moving to Opportunity programme, started in the 1990s, through which some poor people received both counselling and vouchers to move to richer neighbourhoods. Others got financial help to move as they wished, but no counselling. A third group received nothing. Studies after 10-15 years suggested that the incomes and employment prospects of those who moved to richer areas had not improved. Boys who moved showed worse behaviour and were more likely to be arrested for property crime. In Britain, this pattern might be partly explained by the existence of poor immigrant neighbourhoods such as St Matthews in Leicester. The people who live in such ghettos are poor in means, because they cannot speak English and lack the kind of social networks that lead to jobs, but not poor in aspiration. They channel their ambitions through their children.

Another probable explanation lies in the way that the British government hands out money. Education funding is doled out centrally, and children in the most indigent parts tend to get the most cash. Schools in Tower Hamlets receive £7,014 ($10,610) a year for each child, for example, compared with the English average of £4,675. Secondary schools also get £935 for each poor child thanks to the “pupil premium” introduced by the coalition government. Meanwhile Teach First sends top graduates into poor schools. In America, by contrast, much school funding comes from local property taxes, so those in impoverished areas lose out. As the Duke University researchers are keen to point out, all this does not in itself prove that economically mixed neighbourhoods are a bad thing. They may be good in other ways—making politicians more moderate, for example. But the research does suggest that the benefits of such districts are far from straightforward. Patterns of social segregation reflect broader social inequality, argues Mr Cheshire, who has written a book about urban economics and policy. Where mixed neighbourhoods flourish, house prices rise, overwhelmingly benefiting the rich. Spending more money on schools in deprived areas and dispatching the best teachers there would do more to help poor children. Assuming that a life among wealthy neighbours will improve their lot is too complacent. http://www.economist.com/news/britain/21641283-unnervingly-poor-children-seem-fare-better-poor-neighbourhoods-paradox-ghetto

Charities aim to get disabled children playing by Emma Tracey

Parents of disabled children say finding fun things for them to do is a full-time job. Could a new TripAdvisor-style site solve this? "We went as a family to a water park which has a klaxon which goes off to let you know the wave machine is about to start," says Alexa Wilson. It wouldn't cause problems for most families but her children, Ellie 13 and Toby ten, both have Fragile X syndrome - a form of autism which comes with learning disabilities. Ellie doesn't like unexpected loud noises and, when the klaxon sounded she got up and ran out and refused to return. "This is just one more place we now can't visit," says Wilson. "Had we known about the klaxon, we could have warned her." It's this sort of extra detail that SENDirect hopes to provide. It's a new review website aimed at families with children who have Special Educational Needs or Disabilities (SEND).

Stan Palmer is 12 and has Down's syndrome. His dad, Steve, says most activities don't advertise that they're inclusive, even if they are, which creates uncertainty. He says more effort needs to go into making it obvious so that parents can make the right choices. "If we just turned up at a mainstream rugby class with Stan, it just wouldn't work because he needs extra attention," he says. "Or if he was typically developing he might say 'I'm going to paint a picture now', but we have to help and guide him into play." Palmer currently finds out about inclusive leisure activities for his son in a "very ad hoc" manner via other parents of SEND children, or on social media.

Stan's dad Steve says it's difficult to find suitable activities for him According to the consortium of nine charities behind the new website, Palmer is not alone. Useful information about inclusive family activities and many other important services is scarce. In a recent survey by the consortium, three-quarters of families said they have difficulty finding information about what services are available to them. "We developed SENDirect in response to families telling us that finding vital local services for any child with additional needs is over-complicated, confusing and choice is severely limited," says Jolanta Lasota, chair of the consortium. Stan's dad says he needs extra attention when playing The new website allows visitors to search by postcode, price range and age suitability, for everything from health services, to specialist equipment, to childcare. Family activities come under the category "fun stuff".

For Wilson it is important that her children get to as many leisure activities as possible. "Life skills and social skills are more important for Ellie and Toby than straight-forward education," she says, "because building up friendships and social skills is what is going to help them survive when we're not around to look after them." Functional services have traditionally been prioritised for disabled people but Lasota says that being able to find and use leisure resources might reduce a need to use other expensive specialist services - such as mental illness facilities. "We know that isolation leads to mental health difficulties and therefore those people would need more access to mental health services," she says. "What we're trying to do is break down that isolation, so that families are included in their communities and don't feel so alone." Hundreds of parents were involved in the development of SENDirect. They helped decide what sort of information they would find useful when researching services. Users can rate each service based on their experience, which will then be visible for all to read. This is something Wilson welcomes so she can do her homework and avoid failure. "It's taken trial and error to find out which cinemas and theatres are right for Ellie." She says lots of "fun things" have an accessibility statement but usually this just means access for wheelchair-users. "They don't really think about people with learning disabilities," she says. Wilson says that if she heard about a cinema that has a more tolerant attitude to a little noise then she would go there. She observes that if parents are less anxious then in turn their children will be more relaxed too. "We have had bad experiences in theatres where staff were unhelpful to the point of rudeness," she says.

Sixteen-year-old Shane Goncalves has cerebral palsy, is blind and has a severe learning disability. His mum, Sam Bergin-Goncalves, wants nothing more than for her son to reach his full potential, be independent and live a life with rich and varied experiences - as any parent would want. She has an interesting thought on how sharing information like this can lead to even more positive collaborations. She says she's hoping that SENDirect will give her family the ability to link up with others to pool money from their personal budgets - funding given to them by social services - and widen the opportunities available. "It would be good to approach providers with ideas for activities that my son and his friends would like to do," she says. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-ouch-30923074